So they said, “What’s wrong?”

It has been a long time since I could do anything but stare straight ahead.  So the staring at a computer and interacting with the keyboard is kind of a step up.

My grandfather died.

It sucked

It still sucks.

It sucks more for my dad who is terrible in any and all crises, so he pretends that he’s doing okay while he works and plays his music and takes care of my aunts and my grandma the best he can.

I know that I have to start interacting with actual people soon.  Like tomorrow.  It’s the first day back to class.

Mom gave me the option of taking a semester off, but I don’t see how that would do any good.

He died on New Year’s Eve.  I don’t really know when exactly.

Helena’s family threw a big party and hired the caterer Mac works for so all three of us  could be together.

There was karaoke machine (was there ever a better harbinger of doom than that?)

We the three of us were mangling a song (“Tell Him” by the Exciters, later remade by Josie Cotton.)  and I looked up and saw my mom in the doorway, with Helena’s folks. Dad wasn’t with her, so I kind of knew something was up.  Mom likes for us all to be together on New Year’s Eve.  I knew that Dad would be standing right next to her  unless something had happened.

Something had.

Everyone is worried about me.

Me too.

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