Tom Petty said it best

“You don’t know how it feels to be me.”

Amen, Tom, Amen

Just to give you some idea of what a regular day in my life is like, I will tell you what happened today on the way to school.   I drive my brother’s old  Chrysler which is approximately the same size if not slightly larger than one of the portable buildings at said school.

My special talent leaves wide open for karmic mockery.  The giant yellow car doesn’t exactly help me move around incognito.  I don’t think that would matter anyway, people still stop me wherever I am  if I slow down long enough for them to get a good look at me.

Today I had on sunglasses and was sailing the car towards the intersection when the person in the car next to me started honking the car horn and hooting and waving, trying to get my attention.  I pretended that I was singing along to the car stereo and commenced to bust a move. This is really hard to do when you don’t actually have a working radio.

I sighed and rolled down my window. The driver hollered his question to me,

“What is the law regarding road construction so near a school?”

When I shrugged, he went on,

“Do you know who’s  in charge of city planning and do they actually work at City Hall, or do I have to go to a substation?”

I just sighed and waited for the light to change. I know by now that the best answer is no answer.  I really wanted to stop for sugar and caffeine, but I was already a little late , and since I know nothing about the history of the doughnut and even less about the history of coffee, I just went to school.

That’s just the beginning.

What Ann saw today: A limp piece of beef jerky clinging heroically to the bottom of the shoe of the guy who sits in front of me in homeroom.  I didn’t bring it to his attention.  I know nothing of jerked beef.